


Morning rituals

by Yuppu



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 15:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuppu/pseuds/Yuppu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gunnar decides to shake up a bit his and Barney's morning rituals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning rituals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arwen88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arwen88/gifts).



“Hey, Barns?”  
Barney lifted his eyes from the sink, grumbling a muffled answer with the toothbrush stuck in his mouth.  
“How about I shave you today?”  
The sound he made was incomprehensible, but it very much sounded like ‘ _are you out of your mind?_ ’.  
“I’m serious, come on! You know I have a steady hand!”  
Barney spit in the sink and stared at Gunnar for a moment. “... you swear not to cut my throat?”  
“Cross my heart.” Answered the Swede, physically crossing his heart with a finger.  
The other decided to give in and gave a brief nod. “Ok, then. But leave my mustache alone.”  
“That is a monstrosity, not a mustache, it should be my holy duty to destroy that thing and wipe it from the face of the planet for all of eternity.”  
Barney lifted an eyebrow.  
“... ok, I actually like it, I’ll leave it alone.”  
“That’s better. Go grab a chair.”  
Gunnar happily complied and let Barney sit.  
“A bit tense, huh?”  
“Force of habit, you know.”  
“As if you’d need to be so tense with me...”  
Barney instinctively reached for his hand and just brushed it lightly as Gunnar draped a towel over his shoulder.  
Gunnar smiled and prepared him as he did to himself every morning. Something Barney teased him about, but never really wanted to change about him. He felt the blade run along his jawbone, as straight and precise as Gunnar’s best shots when he’d just begun as a sniper for the team.  
“You’re still tense, Barns...”  
“I’m keeping my neck straight.”  
“All this hard work for nothing...” Teased Gunnar, moving Barney’s head back to reach his throat, and slowly ran the blade upwards, leaving a smooth trail behind.  
“You’re sure you’re not going to cut my head off, yeah?”  
“Now that you mention it, I might consider it. Like herrings, y’know? Take the head off and what’s left is all good.”  
“That’s nice.”  
“Right? As a bonus, I get to not look at this mug of yours every day. Win-win.”  
Barney snorted. “‘preciate it.”  
Gunnar chuckled and leaned over to kiss him on the mouth, ignoring how he smeared the foam on his own face.  
“On second thought, maybe I’ll leave it attached to the neck...”  
“What changed your mind?”  
“Slit throats don’t kiss back, from what I’m told...”  
“That’s too bad, huh?”  
“I’ll have to keep looking at your face every morning...”  
“Sounds dreadful.”  
“Absolutely horrifying.”  
Barney tutted and stretched up just enough to kiss Gunnar again. “You’re an ass, you know that, right?”  
“So are you. What does this make us, two cheeks of the same ass?”  
“That would be one ugly and uneven ass.”  
“So ugly and uneven. Can I finish shaving you, now we established I’m not going to behead you?”  
“You’d better do...”  
“As you wish...” Cackled Gunnar, straightening his back to finish up.


End file.
